In a room behind a
thrift shop in Chicago’s Uptown neighborhood three women sit at sewing machines,
learning the art of needlecraft as they turn cotton, silk and satin into
wearable items. Talking quietly with each other and with their teacher, they
create bonds and shyness fades. The women have much in common. Each has suffered
physical and mental abuse at the hands of someone who should have been her
closest friend and companion – her husband.
The women are
clients at Apna Ghar, the first domestic violence shelter in the Midwest serving
primarily South Asian women and children. Since opening in January 1990, the
agency has provided counseling, training and support to more than 5,400 women.
Apna Ghar
offers far more than a meal and a bed for the night. The program, “Sewing
Empowers Women” (SEW), begun by community volunteers, is one of many offerings
designed to teach clients new skills and help them cope with life in America.
“When clients
have gone through so much trauma, trying to normalize their lives can be
difficult,” says housing coordinator, Tejal Shah. “They’re living at a shelter,
trying to go to school and learn English. Sewing is very therapeutic. It keeps
their hands and minds busy, gives them a sense of accomplishment and makes them
feel good about themselves.”
Women who live
with abusers know finding assistance isn’t easy. When one is new to the United
States, a novice at the English language and have led a protected life, the
difficulties may seem insurmountable.
“We have a
reputation in the community for providing culturally-sensitive services to South
Asian women,” says program director, Kiran Siddiqui, “because those of us who
work here understand the role of a woman or daughter-in-law in Pakistan or the
caste system in India. Our clients don’t have to explain their culture to us.”
Getting Started
According to
the U.S. Department of Justice report, “Intimate Partners Violence, 1993-2001,”
nationwide during 2001 intimate partners perpetrated nearly 600,000 offenses on
women, ranging from rape to various forms of assault. During 2000, 1,247 women
were killed by a boyfriend or by a current or former spouse.
“Domestic
violence is a stigma all over the world and in every possible lifestyle and
profession,” says Aparna Sen, Apna Ghar’s executive director. “It cuts across
all financial and cultural lines. It’s a myth that it doesn’t happen in the
South Asian community.”
In 1987 Kanta
Khipple was well aware of the situation. As a therapist at Asian Human Services
in Chicago she encountered women whose physical complaints she suspected masked
other problems.
“I asked them
if their husbands were sympathetic,” Khipple says. “They answered that their
husbands didn’t bother about them. I could see the anger and concern behind
that. Eventually some began to admit that their husbands hit them or didn’t
allow them to work outside their homes.”
In Chicago at
that time, six mainstream shelters welcomed women of all backgrounds. However,
Khipple’s research showed that South Asian women living in the USA often felt
uncomfortable. Helping in the kitchen might mean handling beef, a taboo for
Hindus, and lighting incense might be looked on as strange. Most South Asian
women left after only a few days at these shelters.
So, with help
from friends and associates, Khipple opened Apna Ghar in 1990. The name means
“our home.”
“Apna Ghar is
breaking the silence among battered Asian women in America,” says Vickii Coffey,
executive director of the Chicago Metropolitan Battered Women’s Network. “It is
helping to provide a network of places of safety, refuge and solace to immigrant
battered women who face a double layer of fear – fear of abuse and being hurt,
plus the fear of deportation.”
Domestic Violence Takes Many Forms
Domestic
violence isn’t always associated with physical abuse, Siddiqui says. Men
traumatize their wives by preventing them from getting an education or a job;
blocking contact with their families; controlling household finances; and
threatening to send them back to their home countries without their children.
“The abuse
includes isolating the woman and having complete power over her,” Siddiqui says.
“Plus emotional abuse such as constantly asking for more dowry or telling the
wife, `My parents forced me to marry you,’ or ‘You’re not pretty enough’.”
Often women
stay with abusers, saying to themselves, “Yes, he’s abusing me, but he’s taking
care of the children. I’ll just suffer in silence because my children are going
to school; have a roof over their heads and food on the table.”
The situation
has to be dire for a woman with children to call Apna Ghar, Siddiqui says. Those
who do call have exhausted all means of mediation and reconciliation.
“The abuse has
probably escalated to the point where it’s a threat to her life,” Siddiqui says.
“Or the abuser has transferred his attention to the children, as we know happens
60 percent of the time.”
Women who leave
their abusers can move with their children into Apna Ghar’s 12-bed shelter for
up to 120 days. From the shelter, clients can move to one of seven transitional
housing apartments for a period of 18-to-24 months. Then they move to
independent housing. “There’s no time limit on our services,” Siddiqui says, “We
see each woman through until she’s received all the services that she wanted or
needed on day-one.”
Agency services
also are open to non-residents who make up about 70 percent of Apna Ghar’s
clients. Originally a majority of clients were South Asians. Today clients from
a broad range of backgrounds are helped by staff members who speak many
languages, including Russian, Korean, Polish, Persian and Arabic.
Finding Their Way
Apna Ghar also
helps women with legal problems such as obtaining orders of protection and
divorces, and determining their immigration status. Often women have no idea
what their status is. For example, a husband who is a U.S. citizen may petition
for his spouse to join him. She arrives and six months later, the abuse begins.
Part of that abuse is a refusal to reveal her status. The woman turns to Apna
Ghar for help when her visa is about to expire.
Apna Ghar
connects women seeking legal help with immigration attorneys and legal aid
agencies like Chicago Legal Clinic, Inc., which provide services, as do other
lawyers, pro bono. The Freedom of Information Act and the Violence Against Women
Act both aid clients in determining their status. Unfortunately, there are
situations without legal remedies. Women who cannot be approved as legal
residents have the choice of remaining undocumented or returning to their
countries.
“If they go
back, a lot of issues come up including shame and embarrassment,” says community
advocate, Anviksha Kalscheur. “They may be ostracized from their communities
because it is seen as their fault. In some cases it can be really bad, and in
extreme cases it’s possible that a woman may be killed.”
The Waiting Game
While they
await resolution of their status, clients study English, receive counseling and
participate in agency programs. For example, the Apna Ghar thrift shop, NeUsed
Closet, offers an eight-hour-a-week, eight-week training course. Clients are
taught to work a cash register, and maintain and clean the store. They learn
merchandising and customer service techniques. A single part-time, six-month
sales associate position is available to a client who has completed the
coursework.
“Some immigrant
clients may never have worked in this country,” Shah says. “This gives them the
opportunity to experience the American workforce and see how things are done in
America.”
Similarly in
the SEW program, clients learn skills that may help them succeed in the
workplace. During training they practice on donated items, turning them into
dresses, shirts and pants for themselves and their children. As their skills
increase, some chose to earn a bit of money creating purses, aprons and pillow
covers sold at NeUsed and online. Shops in Chicago’s South Asian neighborhood
have hired SEW program graduates to do alterations specific to the South Asian
community.
Future
Apna Ghar’s
staff and a group of about 100 volunteers continue to work with immigrant women.
Today agency founder Khipple – whom staff members respectfully call Kantaji –
serves as an alumni board member. She is currently focused on developing South
Asian Seniors House of Peace, an independent living facility set to open soon in
Evanston, Ill., with housing for 10-to-15 men and women.
“We were the first in the Midwest 16 years ago to provide domestic
violence services for South Asian women,” Siddiqui says, “and we will be the
first to provide residential services to South Asian seniors who are victims of
isolation and abuse.”
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